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Love Lost

On a scale of things that are sad – love lost is my Everest.

When you’re passionate, love knows no rules or sanity or order and when it’s lost it seems that sadness, emptiness, and pity know no bounds. Eventually the heart heals and life goes on. That process might take days or years but is it ever really over? Does the heart ever fully recover from lost love? I’m not sure. Yes, you can love again – as much, more even, and often, but the pang of lost love never really goes away. It gets buried by life and pops up every once in while. That’s why people cry at Hallmark commercials. They are really crying over love lost.

You hear a phrase or a laugh or see a smile or an email and suddenly you are whisked back months, days, years, decades even, to a time of love of happiness…an elated love that exists now only in memories and photos. The ache of heartache creeps in. It’s not jealousy or longing for times past – it’s more of a realization that things that were once so good could go so bad. It’s remembering the beauty of life that felt so real and perfect and forever. It’s the little prince and the wheat colored hair. It’s tending roses and making them your own.

Despite the sadness of love lost, remembering brings me hope and confidence. It reminds me how the world can be, how happy I can be crawling into bed with cold feet, how much fun I can have buying eggs at the grocery store, and how comfortable I can feel. Most importantly it reminds me not to settle, if emotions are strong enough to pierce you years later, they should be strong enough to skew your reality during love. As an adrenaline junkie, I love love and I’ll take lost love with it. It makes me feel alive and inspired and lucky. Some people go their whole lives without love.

I guess one day my love might not be lost.